Friday, October 24, 2008

Happy Diwali from the Finance Minister Mr Chidambaram

Dear Fellow Citizens,
On behalf of the Congress party, Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhiji and Mr Rahul Gandhi I would like to extend my warm wishes to the citizens of India on the eve of Diwali 2008. It has been a tumultuous year for the markets and as we have seen things have been going as per plan. We had a plan for 9% growth, however we came close to it at 8% and got a bonus 12% in inflation. We also managed to bankrupt a lot of the speculators and investors, some of who were senior citizens who lost their retirement saving in the market .
When the congress came to power in May 2004, the Sensex was 5000, now after 41/2 years it is at 8500, A stellar gain of 70% over a 4.5 year period as opposed to a 40% compounded gain if you had invested in safe fixed deposits. However if you had invested exactly a year ago, the return would be a -70%, a warning to speculators that India will not tolerate short term investors.
We are also happy to report that the rupee has breached Rs 50, so now your NRI brothers and sisters are given a welcome bonus this Diwali. The Foreign investors who have dumped the rupee and fled like rats will now have a greater incentive to return back, now that they have gained 20% over a period of 1 year. As you can see we are trying hard to please all sections of society and we look forward to continue this good work in the year five years under the astute leadership of Shri Manmohan Singh and Smt Sonia Gandhi.
Having seen the turmoil with the Italian Lira, we have superb leadership at the top which understands the economic consequences of pandering to the common people. I have instructed the SEBI and the RBI to take strict action against market manipulators who have been trying to create a illusion of wealth in the Indian stock market. Thanks to their efforts the Sensex has been brought down from 21000 to 8500, a level which will hold for a few more days, before we bring it down further to 6000 so that it is affordable to the common man.
It has also been an very happy Diwali for some of our Foreign short sellers who were allowed to participate in the merry making outside the borders of the country, thanks to a recent directive by SEBI, a brilliant move by the SEBI chairman.
With reference to housing we have managed to create a spectacular bubble where land prices have soared to the heavens. Some of the property where I live is now worth Rs 50000 per sq/ft. Even developed countries like the US and UK don't have the prices we have. We have asked our banks to make sure that the citizens are working hard to pay off the EMI's on the house/car loans for their highly prized properties. These banks are creating thousands of recovery agent jobs each month to make sure borrowers don't default on their loans.
As a consequence of the soaring housing prices, the congress party and other political parties have had great success in raising funds for the upcoming elections. Unlike the US which has a lobby system, the Indian political system depends on builders to finance their political activities. We prefer black money to avoid scrutiny of the Income Tax bureaucracy and thereby reduce corruption in the system.
Some of the builders have defaulted on their payments to government authorities and banks, and as a penalty, we will be confiscating their assets and then auctioning them over to our brothers in the Gulf, some of who have nefarious designs against our great nation. By doing so we will establish an ownership society where all the prime land is owned by our enemies, so they will have no vested interest in creating turmoil, riots or exploding bombs in our cities and towns.
In closing, I wish all citizens a very happy Diwali and hope that the next five years are even more prosperous then ever before.
Sd
Mr P.C Chidambaram
Finance Minister
Government of India
New Delhi
Samvat 2050

8 comments:

Shailesh said...

HCC's new townships on hold, to focus on govt projects

He said the company is looking at the possibility of joint development of townships where land owners and the company get together to develop projects. “It will help us save on cash outflows,” he remarked.

Land required for these proposed townships was around 200-400 acres and senior officials at HCC said only 40-70 acres of land in each project has been acquired so far.

“The total investment so far has been to the tune of Rs 40 crore," officials stated.

However, the deferment of the projects comes as the company expects land prices to see a correction due to market conditions. “We expect prices to come down; as a result the cost of land acquisition will become much more viable,” officials added.

So if Builders would like to take advantage of lower prices, what is wrong if Home Buyers do the same? Also, how could they get Township approvals without actually owning the land?

Shailesh said...

Realtors plan cut in staff, wage bill

Parsvnath Developers is expected to sack its non-performing staff post Diwali as part of its cost cutting measures. "Non performers have to go. Cost cutting measures will start in 15 to 20 days,'' said Pradeep Jain, chairman of Parsvnath, told reporters on the sidelines of a conference in New Delhi today.

Parsvnath currently employs 1,400 people and nearly 30,000 are indirectly employed, Jain said, adding that the company will cut 15 to 20 per cent salaries of some of the executive as part of rationalising salary levels. "Last year some of the executives got hikes of 120 per cent. But this year we will rationalise that,'' Jain said.

Anonymous said...

As per the recent testimony of Alan Greenspan (US ex central bank chairman) in 2006 he observed a housing bubble in more than 2 dozen countries. And to clean up this housing mess it will take substantial time.
He has given a global message here, people without understanding the global economic consequences arguing about the black money, the money power of Raheja/Hiranandani etc. When market is in recession every one’s money power get contacted & that’s why the prices start falling. If some one can afford a property of 50 lakh 1 year before today he can afford only 40 lakh so even though property prices will come down to 40 lakh the gap will remain same. Buyer should wait for distress sale deal.

--In Pune Baner/Pashan area was under the city limit even in 2005 as non-agricultural zone. If you want I can give you the town planning map of 2005.
-- The highest NA Land rate in Baner has reached to 1400/sq feet in 2007 Dec.
-- In Pashan Panchvati the Land rate was 3000/sq feet for a society plot. Pashan sus road land prices were 1300/sq feet in 2007 Dec.

Anonymous said...

Anon,
Who is bloody Raheja or Hirchandani or even Paravnath. They are all going to get crushed soon. They made hay while the sun was shining. Now the party is over and people have to come back to reality.

Big builders who are 100 times size of these Indian ones could not sustain, then who are these chumps.

Be prepared for a rough ride. Indians will soon be licking the mud on the floor with reality kicking in the arse.

Diwali Greetings and Wishes said...
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Diwali Greetings and Wishes said...

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sekhar said...

vik,

the greeting is good... I am forwarding to all my friends...

Anonymous said...

lols, good one, hit the nail on the head! perfecto!